If the average age of divorce for men is 45 and it's 42 for women in the UK* should we continue to accept the status quo?
In society today we only hear about two relationship extremes. A lovely wedding. It will now cost you an average of £27K - for just one day.** Should couples also include in their wedding costs, an empowering 2 days to future proof their relationship survival? What would be more valuable?
You will never consider the thought of divorce when you meet someone new you have amazing chemistry with, or when you first get married because you feel so in love. If you want a thriving relationship that will last, the most important reason why you should invest in your relationship happiness at the early stages of love is to future proof your relationship success. Taking this first easy step will especially help you to deal with conflict to more easily bring love back into flow very quickly. Also, strengthen your relationship foundations from the outset. To understand your Emotional Intelligence number on a scale of zero to 10, keep reading.....
Making the decision to take a relationship EQ MOT will transform your life and your relationship happiness. If you also want to avoid becoming a divorce statistic, if you are fearful deep down of making the same mistakes with someone new, or your current relationship it is time to develop your emotional intelligence (I will help you further down this post)? If you understand the pattern you personally follow when you argue (any previous/current relationship will give you your answer). If you are unable to understand each other's perspective, pass blame, take responsibility for your emotions, I would advise you to take a relationship MOT before you start dating, whether you are in a new relationship, engaged or have been married a number of years. Keeping the magic of love alive needs working on or you will repeat the same behaviour with another person (that could take you years to find because the grass is not always greener the other side of the fence). Once you discover the priceless insight on how to clear an argument, speak your truth and better understand how you tick and communicated, you will begin to positively react, respond and listen differently to a new partner or the relationship you may want to save or rebuild right now.
Consider these questions for a moment. How long would you let yourself bleed before you put a plaster or bandage over your wound? How long would you endure a health condition before you see a doctor? How long would you struggle at work trying to understand a new piece of software without going on a course to speed up your learning process? How much longer do you want to endure relationship or emotional unhappiness?
The impact of divorce or a relationship breakdown only becomes real when it happens. Including your legal fees, splitting your assets, home and financials (all relative to your situation). It will possibly cost you 3 or 4 times the average wedding day spend in total (once you have paid your family lawyer (approx £1200 for a straight forward divorce). The financial cost, of course, depends on your personal circumstances and financial situation. Your emotional intelligence will help you to keep afloat because you then have the devasting emotionally and mental anguish of loss, hurt and pain to deal with when you are trying to support your children's wellbeing too (if you have a family). It will hit you harder, especially if your EQ is under-developed. if this is the case your children will suffer too. Your EQ intelligence is your foundation to cope with any life challenge when it hits you hard. So wherever you are on your love pathway, starting something new, consider the skills you need to develop your EQ. If you want or have a family, they will learn by your example if you already have the right EQ toolkit - if you have been divorced, what to save your relationship or start a new one!
Possibly you could start a new relationship, save or rebuild your relationship with a new awareness of each other before you hit problems. For the solution of how you do this, I help clients quickly identify, following my unique tailored 4 step toolkit, if separation or divorce is the best way forward. I help clients save their relationship or before they are ready to start dating, I prepare them with the insight and wisdom they need to make the right informed choice critical - to recognise and attract someone extraordinary (I know so and the clients who have met the love of their life will tell you how important this step is too). If you want a fresh, proven, tried and tested approach that is not Relate Counselling or Talking Therapies (will help you chat through past or current issues) , Walking my talk as a Relationship Expert over 20 years I understand the solution and have created a unique new professionally qualified approach that works. The 4 steps I introduce over a personal 1-2-1 discovery session.
If you are ready to MOT your relationship skills you will get radically different results (over just 2 days) when you apply what you learn. It's an investment every human being should consider! Remember coaching will empower you, it is not a therapy and one day I hope my unique 4 steps healthy communication coaching programme will be the preferred go-to alternative to Relate Counselling (if therapy is not right for you).
Strengthening your emotional intelligence is also a precious life tool and skill to reach your true potential in life and love. You will take back control of your emotions more quickly if you are emotionally stuck, exhausted, anxious or depressed. Take greater steps toward in your business ambitions and life achievements. What you learn and how you apply your emotional intelligence, will positively impact every area of your life and the people you communicate with. You have everything to gain!
This is the most important tip for today so remember it. When you learn to become the best version of you, you will also become the best partner you could be to build, save, or start a new a more lasting relationship for you and it to thrive.
You are likely to continue as you are today, nothing will change. You will possibly continue to feel depressed or stressed for longer, overwhelmed, struggle emotionally, feel empty without the loving relationship you truly deserve, unable to cope or be productive as you would like to at work. If life has hit you hard you may feel the victim for longer if you have been heartbroken and your emotions are out of control. If you have been single or divorced a while, you feel lonely and alone, it can feel like you have no purpose (on the treadmill) without the special someone you want to share your life, dreams and future with.
A coaching question to help you understand your EQ number today .......
On a scale of zero up to 10 (10=the best you could be at communicating), how good are you at dealing with conflict with your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance (or consider a previous relationship or another family member, work colleague you know)? What number are you?
If you are an 8 or 9 you are well developed. Anything below, imagine if you invested just 2 days of your life, how you will develop your EQ and transform your life?
I would love to inspire you to develop your new EQ toolkit every human being needs to learn.
To book your Emotional Intelligence Relationship 30 minute Discovery Call today, you can book here online immediately. Simply click this link.
Or start your FREE 90 minute Online Relationship Coaching EQ Programme today!
Which well-ness contact in your business do you know I could contact to introduce my New You staff engagement and wellbeing programme to? Please email me karen@lovecoachingyou.com or text 07590 221951. Imagine the personal and profitable impact on your business, staff and personal happiness if every employee had their own Emotional Intelligence Toolkit. Staff would want to come into work, feel more productive if you care about their wellbeing.
With loving wishes and much gratitude.
Karenx
LoveCoachingYou.com
KarenMarshallCoach.com if you have everything but no one special to share it with you.
* according to the ONS (Office of National Statistics)
** Bride Magazine
If you value empowerment and want to be a more successful businesswoman, wife, mother, sister, colleague, girlfriend or friend, investing time learning about yourself will help you achieve greatness in your life!
Sheryl Sandberg is indeed a winning woman who has conquered it all but has also lived through adversity and heartbreak to bounce back in her life!
It will support you through any personal challenge in life or help you achieve greater business success. It’s also a title headline to empower other women Sheryl supports within her Foundation*.
Her inspiring story below, truly resonates with me to continue helping more winning women like you, to live your life more mindfully, powerfully with the understanding to tap into your true potential for life-changing results.
When you learn new skills to feel happier, more confident, how to become resilient, you already have the assets you need when you understand how to tap into the power of your mind, body and energy. It’s the emotional scaffolding you can harness and use when your human spirit is tested.
Life can be hard sometimes, when you hear sad stories, loss of life on a daily basis, or the time you need strength to push yourself forward with determination, persistence and courage, in the face of doubt or uncertainty. Or feel like giving up or giving in. Life will throw us curve balls, of redundancy, relationship breakdown, health conditions, losing loved ones when we don’t expect it. Maybe you are thinking right now, it only happens to other people.
Working as a Self-Transformation Coach I empower clients how to be mindful and resilient. If you wish to be inspired here is my FREE 4 Life-Changing Steps Every Woman Needs to Know, video mini-course including some quick and easy mindfulness coaching exercises to understand where you are right now on a scale of zero to 10 (if you are already practising mindfulness).
Becoming familiar with the way you think, will give you new perspective and awareness to build your resilience muscle. It’s called mindfulness living in the moment, making new conscious positive thoughtful choices for life-changing results. You will think, feel and behave in a new way to approach your personal challenges, business or relationship goals very differently.
Adversity happened to me Karen Marshall. I overcome depression, healing a 10-year skin condition without taking medication, working through redundancy at a time my Mum died unexpectedly and a new relationship ended. Today I have transformed my health, happiness, business approach, relationship success living more mindfully now my resilient muscle is much stronger. I wouldn’t be the person I am today, or passionate about my business LoveCoachingYou.com or the Winning Woman Academy without living mindfully and becoming more resilient in my own life. Today I have the tools, education and understanding to be empathetic to accelerate other women’s lives. My goal for next year is now my mission!
To empower over a 1000 woman (or men if they are willing to look inside) to love themselves, inside and outside, to feel happier, more confident, resilient, to achieve greater personal happiness, business or relationship success everyone deserves by the end of December 2018!
With a net worth over US$1B, due to her stock holdings in Facebook and other companies. In 2012 Time Magazine named her among 100 of the most influential people. She Moved to Silicon Valley in 2001 to join Google Inc. from serving under President Bill Clinton. In 2007 Mark Zuckerberg met Sandberg and thought she was a “perfect fit” for the role of COO she started in 2008.
Sheryl is not only a businesswoman role model, has a loving family and successful career. Unfortunately, her equally successful husband Dave Goldberg sadly died unexpectedly of a severe heart attack in 2015.
Even with enormous grief, Sheryl returned to work after 10 days (In Jewish traditions, the mourning period for a spouse lasts for 30 days). After which, she posted publicly on Facebook, an unfiltered account of her grief-stricken month, attracting more than 74,000 comments to date. Strangers all over the world flooded her Facebook page with tales of their own tragedies and heartbreaks.
She then co-wrote Option B, a partly personal memoir and part practical manual how to withstand catastrophe and grow from adversity. She renamed her Lean In foundation to the Sheryl Sandberg & Dave Goldberg Family Foundation empowering women to achieve their ambitions and help people build resilience to find meaning in the face of adversity.
As a Self-Transformation Coach who has walked my talk, I also help other Winning Women with the tools to build a more mindful and resilient lifestyle. Also a qualified Health and Well-being Therapist in 5 different interventions. Mentor. Speaker, I understand the mind-body-energy connection and would love to help and accelerate your resilience and mindfulness in 2018.
The 4 Life-Changing Steps Every Woman Needs to Know
Both my 1 and 2 Day Group Coaching Masterclass Workshops follow a system I have uniquely designed to accelerate your life with the secrets I discovered over 20 years I have combined with my mind-body-energy qualified experience and personally walking my talk to discover WHAT DOES WORK.
These include:
1 Day Coaching Introduction Workshops
1 Day The Mind-Body-Energy Connection
2 Day F.I.N.D. Yourself and Get Back on Track 4 Step Formula
2 Day F.I.N.D. and Accelerate your true Potential 4 Step System
2 Day F.I.N.D. and Accelerate your Relationship Success 4 Step Formula (also available online)
3 Day F.I.N.D. Formula and Mind-Body-Energy Connection
Reference Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheryl_Sandberg
More and more couples are divorcing in retirement. It’s either one of the most painful, emotional and financially life-changing experiences to go through, or it’s a ticket to freedom. But why do people in retirement, nowadays, have an increased chance of filing for divorce?
According to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) dramatic changes in life expectancy have triggered individuals to think if they still want to grow old together. At age 60 or 65, both men and women can still live 30 more years nowadays compared to the early 90's. So, with the kids already old enough to live by themselves, people are thinking "Do I want to live 30 more years of this?"
The Telegraph 8th November 2017 (see link below) mentioned another reason, the "Silver-Fox " phenomenon with men living longer, and still retaining a wandering eye. It also works both ways with women "Cougars", strong independent women, going for the younger man if she is not having her needs fulfilled with her current partner.
Significantly, the figures show that, in stark contrast to other divorce age groups, men over 60 are as likely to file for divorce as women. Overall there were 15,300 people of either gender over the age of 60 getting divorced in 2011 (the last official figures). By contrast in 1991, there were just 8,700.
Perhaps retirement is becoming a later-life crisis? We are thinking of ourselves if we don't have kids to take care of or have needs that aren't fully satisfied. Or, there’s the so-called "bucket-list". Travel the world or move to another country.
As a Relationship and Self-Transformation Coach, Holistic Health and Well-being Therapist, and my personal journey over 20 years I discovered what DOES WORK finding and building a more loving and happier relationship. I now share the most rewarding relationship of my life with my husband I have now been with for almost 10 years. Speaking from experience and 7 years of research to find my answers, qualified education and applying what I learned to attract my now life partner to me, if you are considering separation or divorce, whatever your age, wouldn’t it be worth one last shot to invest 2 days of your time, in the Relationship MOT I offer couples, singles or divorced clients looking for a meaningful relationship?
What you learn and discover in just 2-Days will positively transform your approach and future happiness, possibly with your current partner, or someone new. Also, save you valuable time from making the same mistakes (you are unlikely to even be aware of). Not forgetting the 75K-150K plus your divorce will cost you with legal fees, splitting your assets, pensions, selling your house or buying a new home, and of course the emotional heartache to everyone, including your family.
The 2 Day New Relationship Skills Coaching Program will certainly empower and motivate you to accelerate your life in the right direction. You would discover the informed answers how to BUILD a much stronger, happier and more loving relationship together. Or how to RECOGNISE, FIND and ATTRACT someone new that is right for you.
Lastly, these are some wise words you may wish to consider. Always choose your next steps in love wisely. Your partner or any new potential partner you invest your heart, emotions, energy and life in, will impact your health, happiness, future aspirations, your dreams and the rest of your life, so choose love wisely! Most people don't know how to RECOGNISE if someone is right for them, the most important decision you will make before you start to date, or fall in love again. Then it's too late to turn back.
Before you repeat the same mistakes (you may not even be aware of) consider investing 2 days of your life to take your own relationship MOT that will save you years of more heartache. What price would you pay, if you knew you could discover the knowledge, positively accelerate your happiness and relationship journey, if you could find your RIGHT relationship instead?
Please note, that coaching is NOT a therapy. Coaching will empower, motivate and accelerate the choices you make, to help you move from where you are now, to where you want to be so much faster than you will on your own.
Contact Karen to arrange your FREE 15- minute no obligation introduction call to help you decide on your next steps click here. Or discover when the next 2 Day Relationship Masterclass is coming up click here.
Telegraph link and resource:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/divorce/10225335/Til-retirement-us-do-part-silver-splitter-divorces-up-by-three-quarters-in-generation.html
We learn new skills for our job without hesitation, start a new hobby, learn to drive because each one has a purpose. When we learn something new, we also push ourselves outside of our comfort zone. It feels unfamiliar, uncomfortable because our brain is processing something new. When you repeat any new behaviour enough times, it then becomes automatic. I bet if you have been driving a while now, you do it automatically. If you knew you could change your life in an unbelievable way that would become automatic, would you learn a new skill? Yes or no?
The successful business women or entrepreneurial super mums I am meeting, who are driven, motivated and living a big life, also very feminine in style and energy, are mostly ALL missing one key ingredient.
What key ingredient? Well, if you believe and know you have so much more potential in YOU and your life (beyond what you could ever imagine right now) and you are determined to live the life you truly deserve and love, you may be intrigued to know......
Perhaps right now you are sabotaging yourself from the life you deserve. From the career or business you want, improved health and happiness, or possibly, your holding yourself back from meeting your Mr Right because of the way you think about men, relationships and yourself.
It's crucial to learn about the way you communicate with YOURSELF with that little voice inside your head, particularly when you’re faced with life challenges, stress, a debilitating health condition, relationship breakdown, losing a loved one, or emotional challenge you may be facing alone. If you are looking to be empowered to overcome your challenge, it's important how you connect to your potential and inner beauty.
Your inner beauty, is the energy you radiate, how you approach your life (anxiously or courageously), your attitude (positive or negative), self-confidence (how you love yourself, look after and value your health, happiness and self-worth) are the KEY ingredients and tools for you to tap into your true potential.
When you consciously learn how to change your thinking, it’s where the MAGIC HAPPENS and your true potential is within greater reach. You become better equipped to discover a much richer, abundant, happier and healthier experience of life, instead of making do where you are now in your life if you want to improve your life.
"Your potential, is a new skill. When you choose to become accountable for your thoughts and actions, step outside your comfort zone as often as you can, you will find your true potential - Karen Marshall".
Remember, when you put your mind to something that's important to you, anything becomes possible, including the life you deserve.
If you aspire to reach your potential, your dreams and goals in life, or you would love to attract and recognise your Mr right, build a more loving and rewarding relationship that works and lasts, stepping outside your comfort zone, is something you need to get comfortable doing. Just take one step at a time, it then becomes so much easier to achieve.
You only have one life, so why not choose a much bigger one with more happiness as your core, key ingredient. Anything is possible, I know so. Not to impress you, but to impress upon you. Yes, when you tap into your potential, push yourself outside your comfort as often as you can, your life turns into one you never imagined would be possible. It did for me, so it can for you too!
Would you love to live the happier and healthier life you truly deserve, or stay where you are right now? Yes or no?
www.LoveCoachingYou.com/health
When it comes to relationships there are two non-negotiable factors for a intimate and successful partnership to work. The first is communication, the second is trust.
Without trust there is very little chance that your relationship will survive or work the way you want it to. Trust is the foundation to build any relationships because quite simply, love is built on trust. As human beings we are hard wired to love people that we place our trust in which takes time to nurture and build.
Vulnerable feelings and emotions will inevitably come up when you meet someone new and fall in love. Working at your relationships also take a lot of commitment, and trust is the basis of any happy and lasting relationship if you are looking to attract Mr Right you would love to settle down and build a future with.
So just how do you gain trust? You may have heard the old adage “trust takes a lifetime to build and a moment to break”. As with most things in life, trust needs to be earned, it’s not automatically given.
Here are 7 Top Tips on how you can build trust in a relationship.
1.Be willing to trust.
Your heart needs to be open to trust before you decide to date a guy if you’re looking for a meaningful or lasting relationship. You have to be willing and open to trust in the first place. Trust is reciprocal, so you can only begin by speaking authentically your feelings inside in a secure and loving way. Or possibly, you may need to work on a limiting belief, to change your mindset if ‘I don’t trust men’ is a belief you are still carrying deep inside you. Such a belief will only continue to sabotage any new relationship unless you discover how to create a more positive and empowering thought instead.
2.Decide what trust means to YOU.
Trust means different things to different people. So get a notepad and just jot down what trust means to you. What comes in to your mind when you think about trust? How would you show that you trust your partner? If you’re clear about what it means to you, you’ll be more successful as you start to build trust.
3.Find out what trust means to a man your dating.
Before you fall in love with someone new, it’s important to ask any man what he thinks about trust and what it means to him. Take some time to discuss the subject, to make sure that you’re on the same page. It's a great starting point and foundation before you enter any new or longer-term relationship.
4.Be trustworthy yourself.
Don’t place the onus on trust with your date or partner. You too have to be trust worthy. Make sure you do what you say you will do, follow through on commitments, be dependable and keep your promises to help your partner feel more secure and trusting in you. So ask yourself the question “Would you trust you?”
5.Keep communicating.
Trust and communication go hand in hand whatever stage your relationship is at. Tell each other how you feel, not what you partner wants to hear, because the moment your thoughts and feelings are withheld, trust becomes harder to sustain if you don’t express yourself or communicate clearly. Loving feelings can easily breakdown, so remember it’s important to discuss your emotions in a secure and loving way if something is bothering you.
6.Know that trust can be chipped away at.
Trust isn’t always just broken by a series of lies or an affair. Sometimes trust issues develop over time. So it’s essential that you recognise the patterns and ensure that you address and work on those little niggles as they happen so you don’t end up with one big argument. When you say what you truthfully feel inside, love will more easily come back into flow once again when you clear any unspoken words you're holding onto. So don't let emotions build up into resentment, this is a difficult breaking point, which can certainly stop any intimacy or sexual chemistry unless you deal with your emotions in the correct way.
7.Building trust in a relationship is crucial for its success.
Learn to see the joy in trust and how you can build and support a new partner to feel more secure. Nurture trust in your own life first, continue to be open and honest, and a more rewarding, happier and loving relationship will grow into what you believe about trust!
If you're struggling with one particular area on your love journey, or want to discover how to bring love back into flow, get in touch on Facebook @lovecoachingyou or come along to a Taster Event or Workshop near you. You'll discover how to feel more self-confident, and the F.I.N.D. Love Accerelator 4 Step Formula will help you - recognise Mr Right, ATTRACT, FIND, NURTURE and BUILD a more lasting, loving and happier relationship that works following simple strategies and techniques.
If you're Really Not Ready for a relationship yet, the FIND Love Accelerator 4 Step Formula will also help to educate, empower and transform where you are now, to where you want to be, before you start dating again. If you're looking for a 10/10 relationship, you need to start with YOU first.
To discover what you need to work on first, here's some more valuable insight. My FREE GIFT to help you now. The 5 Step Inner Beauty Makeover.
According to a recent article published 16th November in the Daily Mail more babies have been born to women over 35 than to women under 25 for the first time since records began in the UK. This brings up the important question of whether you should just get on with having children or if you should delay starting a family and just build a career and secure a life in case Mr Right doesn’t show up.
Of course, we’re living in a world where having it all is a tad easier than previous generations. Whilst juggling life, a career, or a family if you’re a single parent, constantly running around and shifting from one task to the next, it is possible. Although, would it be easier having a man to help you out, or can you do it on your own?
Sheryl Sandberg, in case you didn’t know, the woman who is in charge of Facebook once said that the most important career choice you’ll ever make is who you marry.
And in part, she’s right. Let’s look at it tactically for a moment, if you marry someone who has huge ambitions and is on the path to a successful career and you also want the same things, then you’re going to find someone whose on your level and who will understand the times when you need to put your career first.
However, if you marry someone whose main priority is to be the breadwinner then your work will become to support that, even if you have your own career. And whilst this type of marriage is slightly easier to hold together because you’re not playing in to the endless power struggles and rebalancing of priorities between spouses, it may not fulfil all your ambitions.
So, should you find the right man before you settle down and start building your career? Or should you get on that ladder, build your career, take care of business and then start to think about settling down and having a family? The answer to that question is never going to be an easy one, after all, it’s all down to bio-individuality and what you really want in life.
It’s important to ask yourself; where can I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years time?
But whatever you decide making sure that you find the right life partner and someone who matches you and your ambition is essential. And that’s where consulting with a good coach can help you. lovecoachingyou.com we can help you find love and happiness without having to give up on any of your ambitions.