How well are you doing in your marriage so far?

Following covid, the fuel crisis, and the financial pressures more couples face it is essential to strengthen, save or rebuild your relationship before it's too late (if you both still want your relationship to work).

Or you could make the most significant decision of your life, wrongly, without the right discerning knowledge to help you save what you have. In my experience, therapy and counselling are not right for everyone. If you value your self-development and growth, then read on.....

If you are both struggling and miscommunicating, intimacy is breaking down in the bedroom (or has for a while). According to the ONS*, The average age for divorce is 45 for a man and 42 for a woman.

Consider these questions to sense check your relationship happiness together.

1. Do you believe your husband/wife should make you happy? Yes/No?
2. During an argument, do you blame your husband/wife for upsetting you? Yes/No?
3. Do you avoid discussing an argument (or walk away)? Yes/No?
4. Do you ignore your partner and remain in a mood for a while, if not days?  Yes/No?
5. Now you have been together a few years, do you sometimes feel bored with your relationship?  Yes/No?

If you answered 4 or 5 ‘Yes' to the above 5 questions:

What You Give Your Attention To

I bet you would develop your business skills at work to support your job function to improve your success or get the promotion you want. Investing time also to develop new relationship skills to improve your relationship success, can take you from where you are now, to strengthen what you have together.

Consider the next Top 10 priceless tips to help you reignite your relationship happiness.

Top 10 Tips to Avoid Divorce in 2023

For your relationship to survive and thrive.  Read each point then give yourself a mark out of 10.  Zero (= lowest number), up to 10 (=you are the best you can be).

1. Take responsibility for your own inner happiness, your self-confidence, how you feel about yourself. It’s the first step to improving your relationship happiness.  If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you feel good about anyone else, your wife or husband? Start working on your mental and emotional fitness.  How happy do you feel about your personal happiness right now?  What number would you give yourself from 0 up to 10?
2. Take time to understand how you tick and communicate. Unless you know where your buttons come from when you get upset, and respond or react the way you do with your partner (or follow the same patterns with someone else) you will continue to keep pressing each other's buttons without any intention of doing it. When you get clear about why and when your buttons show up, you will learn a newfound sense of understanding of yourself and your partner, wife or husband. This knowledge is priceless if you want to save or strengthen your relationship. Before you decide your partner is no longer making you happy, think again. How aware of you of your buttons from 0 - 10?
3. Keep intimacy and sex alive Get your communication steps right (with your new skills), listen and respect each other's feelings, you can bring love and intimacy back on track. Your partner still wants to feel desirable regardless of the time you have known each other. Compliments are so precious to keep the fire burning for each other. How often do you compliment your partner 0 - 10?
4. Get clear about why you respond the way you do during conflict. You cannot change who you are, you can, however, learn to understand your natural communication style to better understand yourself. Then you will better understand your partner to become better equipped to bring love and chemistry back into flow much quicker. How well do you understand your style of communication (in your relationship) from 0-10?
5. You have a choice to decide how you react and respond to conflict.  You can also choose your attitude. Instead of shouting at each other. Make a conscious choice to discuss the way you feel, without passing blame, once have both calmed down. Remove yourself from an angry situation, start by slowing your breathing down to calm your body and mind. By learning the toolkit to take control of your anger (your emotions), you will respond and react so very differently to your partner. How well do you navigate conflict and your feelings from 0 - 10?
6. If you are feeling bored with your routine.  Or sex and intimacy are becoming less frequent.  Make time to plan new fun, exciting events or adventures together to reignite the romance. Sharing new experiences will reconnect you more intimately. How good are you at keeping love alive from 0-10?
7. Learning about your deeper emotional needs (beyond sex and chemistry) will help you discover what's important to your partner. How great are you at listening to give your partner space to talk about their emotional needs from 0-10?
8. How to overcome your negative emotions during/after conflict.  When you feel angry, with practice notice how you feel, where tension is held in your body.  How do your emotions make you feel? How well can you manage your anger and emotions to overcome conflict from 0 - 10?
9. Start planning regular date nights (to make each other feel special). Share your appreciation of each other, the reasons you were first attracted to each other. Remind your partner why they are so unique to you. Plan a new shared adventure (just the two of you together). Share some quality time together, to reignite your love, intimacy and connection. You are both responsible for your 50% of your relationship's happiness.

Another partner will not make you happy. Apply what you need to learn first. Separation or divorce will subsequently no longer be an option. Get your relationship survival toolkit, the solutions, to see how your relationship will change - if you both want to work on your relationship together.

To get in touch. Contact me here at LoveCoachingYou.com

CONSIDERING SEPARATION OR DIVORCE?

Is an emotive question and will mean something different to everyone especially if you have experienced heartache and relationship breakdown before. It’s also one of the hardest decisions you will make.  So let me give you the informed knowledge, wisdom and coaching  education if any of the following points resonate with you:

• Deep down you are questioning if you have a future together.
• You are arguing and don’t understand each other’s point of view or emotional needs.
• Your feelings have changed. You may feel bored with your daily routine and are considering ending your relationship.
• Possibly you have a family to consider and potentially could be making the biggest mistake of your life.

To make the right decision to save or rebuild what you have together or separate or divorce if this is the best way forward, don't base your decision on ignorance without seeking expert relationship and coaching support first.

Home truths

My advice speaking to you as a qualified Relationship and Well-being Expert. Life Coach and Mentor.  Also speaking personally from experience I have successfully transformed my relationship journey to know what it takes to build a more loving and rewarding relationship that can work.  It’s important you remember this. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence.  It is also highly likely you will repeat the same mistakes and feel the same way in another new relationship unless you shift your perspective.

Seeing your relationship challenges from a new perspective

Let’s take a minute to consider your relationship challenges and how to overcome them. To learn a new skill at work, you would go on a course. To feel fitter, you would practice keeping fit. To learn to drive, you would drive. To run a marathon, you would run.

It’s the same principle in your relationship. To gain new relationship skills you will need to practice them.

If you are, considering separation or divorce right now, the answer to help you is just 4 words - shift your self-awareness.

When you do this, you will positively impact your relationship experience, possibly save and rebuild your relationship.  If couples’ therapy or relate counselling is not for you. decide to accelerate your self-awareness with the priceless empowering knowledge below.

Let me also make your experience super-easy.  Investing only 5 minutes each day will get you started with one quick easy exercise I will talk you through in a moment.

Or immediately sign-up for your FREE 14 Day Online Relationship Success Coaching Program Taster

Self-awareness

One human need essential in life is self-growth and self-development.

Without them, you will stay stuck.  If you are studying for a qualification, learning a new hobby, reading books to expand your thinking and mind, you are constantly shifting your self-awareness.

If you want a more loving, deeply connected and fulfilling relationship, let me expand your mind.

Just how self-aware are you right now?

• How do you communicate at work, or, with your partner during a disagreement? Do you get angry very quickly? Do you easily express the way you feel or think calmly? Or walk away and avoid conflict?  Now imagine the impact of your communication style on your partner.  Without any self-awareness, how you deal with conflict is a huge factor towards your relationship success or failure.

• Are you self-aware of your deeper emotional needs outside your physical relationship? Do you know why you feel unfulfilled in your relationship?  Do you blame your partner for the problems in your relationship?  Each question makes you think, doesn’t it?

• One simple exercise will only take you 5 minutes. Decide to observe yourself over one day this week.  Is your thinking more positive or negative? What do you notice about your body, is it more stressed or calm?  The voice in your head - does it talk negatively or positively?  At the end of your day notice what you notice – on the train home, when you’re having a coffee, a shower or before bedtime. What did you notice about yourself?

On a scale of zero up to 10 (10= the highest number) what number would you give your self-awareness?  If it is 7 or below, what can you do differently to increase this number? Let me show you how.

In my quest towards the relationship survival revolution, if you are you considering separation or divorce, you could save or rebuild what you have together before it’s too late:

Firstly, it’s time to take responsibility for the way you think and feel to avoid making the same mistakes (you may not even be aware of).

Secondly, if you have children, when you decide to invest in your self-awareness you will lead your children with a new example. Before you make a life-changing decision based on ignorance, taking a different perspective is the most precious gift you will give your relationship and your children (who are highly likely to suffer from mental health problems going through separation or divorce with you).  So consider your options wisely.

Top 5 Tips to shift your self-awareness (with a Free Gift to help you).

• When you begin to observe your thoughts and body, it’s the first step to take a new life-changing approach.
• Spending time to discover your natural wiring, how you communicate at work vs your relationship will give you the priceless knowledge to change your approach with your partner (an ex. or with someone new).
• When you uncover the reasons why you feel unfulfilled, bored or depressed, it is likely one of your human needs is out of balance. It is not your partner’s fault you feel this way.
• It is too easy to give up or give in. If you believe someone new will make you happy or fulfilled, then think again.
• Unless you shift your self-awareness, you are likely to repeat the same mistakes with someone new.

Your FREE GIFT Today!

A FREE 14 Day Online Video Coaching Program to start your self-awareness transformation.

Discover your human needs and why you feel unfulfilled, bored or depressed.

Uncover what’s important to you, what you DO WANT instead of what you DON’T WANT (to change your negative voice into a positive one).

It will only take you 10 minutes a day, to finish your FREE online 90 minutes Relationship Success Taster including a few simple exercises to shift your perspective. So you have everything to gain!

If you are an action taker, want different results in your life and relationship, any transformation is possible when you shift your awareness!  Sign-up for your FREE 14 Day Online Relationship Success Coaching Program if you haven't already.

If you are looking for answers, this is a massive signpost to help and guide you to make the right decision!

With loving wishes

Kare Marshall x

LoveCoachingYou.com

Twitter@LoveCoachingYou

FB@LoveCoachingYou

Retirement shall we part

More and more couples are divorcing in retirement.  It’s either one of the most painful, emotional and financially life-changing experiences to go through, or it’s a ticket to freedom. But why do people in retirement, nowadays, have an increased chance of filing for divorce?

According to the Office of National Statistics (ONS) dramatic changes in life expectancy have triggered individuals to think if they still want to grow old together. At age 60 or 65, both men and women can still live 30 more years nowadays compared to the early 90's. So, with the kids already old enough to live by themselves, people are thinking "Do I want to live 30 more years of this?"

The Telegraph 8th November 2017 (see link below) mentioned another reason, the "Silver-Fox " phenomenon with men living longer, and still retaining a wandering eye. It also works both ways with women "Cougars", strong independent women, going for the younger man if she is not having her needs fulfilled with her current partner.

Divorce

Significantly, the figures show that, in stark contrast to other divorce age groups, men over 60 are as likely to file for divorce as women.  Overall there were 15,300 people of either gender over the age of 60 getting divorced in 2011 (the last official figures). By contrast in 1991, there were just 8,700.

Perhaps retirement is becoming a later-life crisis? We are thinking of ourselves if we don't have kids to take care of or have needs that aren't fully satisfied. Or, there’s the so-called "bucket-list". Travel the world or move to another country.

Your Happy Ever After

As a Relationship and Self-Transformation Coach, Holistic Health and Well-being Therapist, and my personal journey over 20 years I discovered what DOES WORK finding and building a more loving and happier relationship. I now share the most rewarding relationship of my life with my husband I have now been with for almost 10 years. Speaking from experience and 7 years of research to find my answers, qualified education and applying what I learned to attract my now life partner to me, if you are considering separation or divorce, whatever your age, wouldn’t it be worth one last shot to invest 2 days of your time, in the Relationship MOT I offer couples, singles or divorced clients looking for a meaningful relationship?

What you learn and discover in just 2-Days will positively transform your approach and future happiness, possibly with your current partner, or someone new.  Also, save you valuable time from making the same mistakes (you are unlikely to even be aware of).  Not forgetting the 75K-150K plus your divorce will cost you with legal fees, splitting your assets, pensions, selling your house or buying a new home, and of course the emotional heartache to everyone, including your family.

The 2 Day New Relationship Skills Coaching Program will certainly empower and motivate you to accelerate your life in the right direction.   You would discover the informed answers how to BUILD a much stronger, happier and more loving relationship together.  Or how to RECOGNISE, FIND and ATTRACT someone new that is right for you.

Lastly, these are some wise words you may wish to consider.  Always choose your next steps in love wisely.  Your partner or any new potential partner you invest your heart, emotions, energy and life in, will impact your health, happiness, future aspirations, your dreams and the rest of your life, so choose love wisely!   Most people don't know how to RECOGNISE if someone is right for them, the most important decision you will make before you start to date, or fall in love again. Then it's too late to turn back.

Before you repeat the same mistakes  (you may not even be aware of) consider investing 2 days of your life to take your own relationship MOT that will save you years of more heartache.  What price would you pay, if you knew you could discover the knowledge, positively accelerate your happiness and relationship journey, if you could find your RIGHT relationship instead?

Please note, that coaching is NOT a therapy. Coaching will empower, motivate and accelerate the choices you make, to help you move from where you are now, to where you want to be so much faster than you will on your own.

NEXT STEPS……….

Contact Karen to arrange your FREE 15- minute no obligation introduction call to help you decide on your next steps click here. Or discover when the next 2 Day Relationship Masterclass is coming up click here. 

Karen Marshall at LoveCoachingYou.com 

Telegraph link and resource:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex/divorce/10225335/Til-retirement-us-do-part-silver-splitter-divorces-up-by-three-quarters-in-generation.html