TOP 10 TIPS TO AVOID DIVORCE

How well are you doing in your marriage so far?

Following covid, the fuel crisis, and the financial pressures more couples face it is essential to strengthen, save or rebuild your relationship before it's too late (if you both still want your relationship to work).

Or you could make the most significant decision of your life, wrongly, without the right discerning knowledge to help you save what you have. In my experience, therapy and counselling are not right for everyone. If you value your self-development and growth, then read on.....

If you are both struggling and miscommunicating, intimacy is breaking down in the bedroom (or has for a while). According to the ONS*, The average age for divorce is 45 for a man and 42 for a woman.

Consider these questions to sense check your relationship happiness together.

1. Do you believe your husband/wife should make you happy? Yes/No?
2. During an argument, do you blame your husband/wife for upsetting you? Yes/No?
3. Do you avoid discussing an argument (or walk away)? Yes/No?
4. Do you ignore your partner and remain in a mood for a while, if not days?  Yes/No?
5. Now you have been together a few years, do you sometimes feel bored with your relationship?  Yes/No?

If you answered 4 or 5 ‘Yes' to the above 5 questions:

What You Give Your Attention To

I bet you would develop your business skills at work to support your job function to improve your success or get the promotion you want. Investing time also to develop new relationship skills to improve your relationship success, can take you from where you are now, to strengthen what you have together.

Consider the next Top 10 priceless tips to help you reignite your relationship happiness.

Top 10 Tips to Avoid Divorce in 2023

For your relationship to survive and thrive.  Read each point then give yourself a mark out of 10.  Zero (= lowest number), up to 10 (=you are the best you can be).

1. Take responsibility for your own inner happiness, your self-confidence, how you feel about yourself. It’s the first step to improving your relationship happiness.  If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you feel good about anyone else, your wife or husband? Start working on your mental and emotional fitness.  How happy do you feel about your personal happiness right now?  What number would you give yourself from 0 up to 10?
2. Take time to understand how you tick and communicate. Unless you know where your buttons come from when you get upset, and respond or react the way you do with your partner (or follow the same patterns with someone else) you will continue to keep pressing each other's buttons without any intention of doing it. When you get clear about why and when your buttons show up, you will learn a newfound sense of understanding of yourself and your partner, wife or husband. This knowledge is priceless if you want to save or strengthen your relationship. Before you decide your partner is no longer making you happy, think again. How aware of you of your buttons from 0 - 10?
3. Keep intimacy and sex alive Get your communication steps right (with your new skills), listen and respect each other's feelings, you can bring love and intimacy back on track. Your partner still wants to feel desirable regardless of the time you have known each other. Compliments are so precious to keep the fire burning for each other. How often do you compliment your partner 0 - 10?
4. Get clear about why you respond the way you do during conflict. You cannot change who you are, you can, however, learn to understand your natural communication style to better understand yourself. Then you will better understand your partner to become better equipped to bring love and chemistry back into flow much quicker. How well do you understand your style of communication (in your relationship) from 0-10?
5. You have a choice to decide how you react and respond to conflict.  You can also choose your attitude. Instead of shouting at each other. Make a conscious choice to discuss the way you feel, without passing blame, once have both calmed down. Remove yourself from an angry situation, start by slowing your breathing down to calm your body and mind. By learning the toolkit to take control of your anger (your emotions), you will respond and react so very differently to your partner. How well do you navigate conflict and your feelings from 0 - 10?
6. If you are feeling bored with your routine.  Or sex and intimacy are becoming less frequent.  Make time to plan new fun, exciting events or adventures together to reignite the romance. Sharing new experiences will reconnect you more intimately. How good are you at keeping love alive from 0-10?
7. Learning about your deeper emotional needs (beyond sex and chemistry) will help you discover what's important to your partner. How great are you at listening to give your partner space to talk about their emotional needs from 0-10?
8. How to overcome your negative emotions during/after conflict.  When you feel angry, with practice notice how you feel, where tension is held in your body.  How do your emotions make you feel? How well can you manage your anger and emotions to overcome conflict from 0 - 10?
9. Start planning regular date nights (to make each other feel special). Share your appreciation of each other, the reasons you were first attracted to each other. Remind your partner why they are so unique to you. Plan a new shared adventure (just the two of you together). Share some quality time together, to reignite your love, intimacy and connection. You are both responsible for your 50% of your relationship's happiness.

Another partner will not make you happy. Apply what you need to learn first. Separation or divorce will subsequently no longer be an option. Get your relationship survival toolkit, the solutions, to see how your relationship will change - if you both want to work on your relationship together.

To get in touch. Contact me here at LoveCoachingYou.com