If the average age of divorce for men is 45 and it’s 42 for women in the UK* should we continue to accept the status quo?
In society today we only hear about two relationship extremes. A lovely wedding. It will now cost you an average of £27K – for just one day.** Should couples also include in their wedding costs, an empowering 2 days to future proof their relationship survival? What would be more valuable?
You will never consider the thought of divorce when you meet someone new you have amazing chemistry with, or when you first get married because you feel so in love. If you want a thriving relationship that will last, the most important reason why you should invest in your relationship happiness at the early stages of love is to future proof your relationship success. Taking this first easy step will especially help you to deal with conflict to more easily bring love back into flow very quickly. Also, strengthen your relationship foundations from the outset. To understand your Emotional Intelligence number on a scale of zero to 10, keep reading…..
Making the decision to take a relationship EQ MOT will transform your life and your relationship happiness. If you also want to avoid becoming a divorce statistic, if you are fearful deep down of making the same mistakes with someone new, or your current relationship it is time to develop your emotional intelligence (I will help you further down this post)? If you understand the pattern you personally follow when you argue (any previous/current relationship will give you your answer). If you are unable to understand each other’s perspective, pass blame, take responsibility for your emotions, I would advise you to take a relationship MOT before you start dating, whether you are in a new relationship, engaged or have been married a number of years. Keeping the magic of love alive needs working on or you will repeat the same behaviour with another person (that could take you years to find because the grass is not always greener the other side of the fence). Once you discover the priceless insight on how to clear an argument, speak your truth and better understand how you tick and communicated, you will begin to positively react, respond and listen differently to a new partner or the relationship you may want to save or rebuild right now.
Consider these questions for a moment. How long would you let yourself bleed before you put a plaster or bandage over your wound? How long would you endure a health condition before you see a doctor? How long would you struggle at work trying to understand a new piece of software without going on a course to speed up your learning process? How much longer do you want to endure relationship or emotional unhappiness?
The impact of divorce or a relationship breakdown only becomes real when it happens. Including your legal fees, splitting your assets, home and financials (all relative to your situation). It will possibly cost you 3 or 4 times the average wedding day spend in total (once you have paid your family lawyer (approx £1200 for a straight forward divorce). The financial cost, of course, depends on your personal circumstances and financial situation. Your emotional intelligence will help you to keep afloat because you then have the devasting emotionally and mental anguish of loss, hurt and pain to deal with when you are trying to support your children’s wellbeing too (if you have a family). It will hit you harder, especially if your EQ is under-developed. if this is the case your children will suffer too. Your EQ intelligence is your foundation to cope with any life challenge when it hits you hard. So wherever you are on your love pathway, starting something new, consider the skills you need to develop your EQ. If you want or have a family, they will learn by your example if you already have the right EQ toolkit – if you have been divorced, what to save your relationship or start a new one!
Possibly you could start a new relationship, save or rebuild your relationship with a new awareness of each other before you hit problems. For the solution of how you do this, I help clients quickly identify, following my unique tailored 4 step toolkit, if separation or divorce is the best way forward. I help clients save their relationship or before they are ready to start dating, I prepare them with the insight and wisdom they need to make the right informed choice critical – to recognise and attract someone extraordinary (I know so and the clients who have met the love of their life will tell you how important this step is too). If you want a fresh, proven, tried and tested approach that is not Relate Counselling or Talking Therapies (will help you chat through past or current issues) , Walking my talk as a Relationship Expert over 20 years I understand the solution and have created a unique new professionally qualified approach that works. The 4 steps I introduce over a personal 1-2-1 discovery session.
If you are ready to MOT your relationship skills you will get radically different results (over just 2 days) when you apply what you learn. It’s an investment every human being should consider! Remember coaching will empower you, it is not a therapy and one day I hope my unique 4 steps healthy communication coaching programme will be the preferred go-to alternative to Relate Counselling (if therapy is not right for you).
Strengthening your emotional intelligence is also a precious life tool and skill to reach your true potential in life and love. You will take back control of your emotions more quickly if you are emotionally stuck, exhausted, anxious or depressed. Take greater steps toward in your business ambitions and life achievements. What you learn and how you apply your emotional intelligence, will positively impact every area of your life and the people you communicate with. You have everything to gain!
This is the most important tip for today so remember it. When you learn to become the best version of you, you will also become the best partner you could be to build, save, or start a new a more lasting relationship for you and it to thrive.
You are likely to continue as you are today, nothing will change. You will possibly continue to feel depressed or stressed for longer, overwhelmed, struggle emotionally, feel empty without the loving relationship you truly deserve, unable to cope or be productive as you would like to at work. If life has hit you hard you may feel the victim for longer if you have been heartbroken and your emotions are out of control. If you have been single or divorced a while, you feel lonely and alone, it can feel like you have no purpose (on the treadmill) without the special someone you want to share your life, dreams and future with.
A coaching question to help you understand your EQ number today …….
On a scale of zero up to 10 (10=the best you could be at communicating), how good are you at dealing with conflict with your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance (or consider a previous relationship or another family member, work colleague you know)? What number are you?
If you are an 8 or 9 you are well developed. Anything below, imagine if you invested just 2 days of your life, how you will develop your EQ and transform your life?
I would love to inspire you to develop your new EQ toolkit every human being needs to learn.
Which well-ness contact in your business do you know I could contact to introduce my New You staff engagement and wellbeing programme to? Please email me firstname.lastname@example.org or text 07590 221951. Imagine the personal and profitable impact on your business, staff and personal happiness if every employee had their own Emotional Intelligence Toolkit. Staff would want to come into work, feel more productive if you care about their wellbeing.
With loving wishes and much gratitude.
KarenMarshallCoach.com if you have everything but no one special to share it with you.
* according to the ONS (Office of National Statistics)
** Bride Magazine